The Instagram star on the dress changed their life | Tech Reddy

“I like to get everything on the menu; the wog in me,” laughs Todorovic, 34.

Deni Todorovic was born as Ratko Denis Todorovic, the first son of Serbian-Romanian parents, assigned male at birth and given a name. From the age of 10 to 18, Todorovic’s family has been studying Jehovah’s Witnesses through a family member in Geelong.

“My parents were baptized when I was 10 years old, but when I came when I was 19 years old, things were very difficult,” they said. . “They stopped going [to church] before that for their own reasons, but that put the nail in the coffin.”

Coming out as gay to your Jehovah’s Witness parents in regional Victoria is one thing, but it wasn’t until the start of the epidemic in 2020 that their identity was revealed.

“For a month to close, I came out as non-binary using them/names,” said Todorovic.

“I lost my job as a fashion editor Cosmopolitan magazine [after it folded] returned to Geelong [from Sydney], back in with my parents. I was just planning to stay for a while to fix it, but then it got locked.

Away from the hustle and bustle of living and being back in their childhood bedroom, Todorovic found time to think. “I went through a journey questioning my gender identity, and then we went into lockdown and I was forced to be alone with my feelings and be true to myself.”

Moving home is about finding out who you are, but for Todorovic the path to finding yourself began years before – in the same house, in the same room.

“One of my earliest memories is trying on a dress my mom wore to my aunt’s wedding in 1989,” they remember.

“I was three or four years old then and I fell in love with purple taffeta. I would sneak into my parents’ room on Saturday mornings while they were sleeping, pull them out of the room and test them.

It’s not a light bulb moment but an invisible shift, a ruched taffeta reveal.

“One day my father grabbed me, I cried, I was troubled, but I knew I had woken up to something; it’s the best I’ve ever heard.”

Fast forward to 2020, when the taffeta is long gone (“Buy it mom, I’m smoking”), and Todorovic finds something they’ve been looking for: identity. They shared the news with their parents; this time, there is no sound.

“They’ve always been very supportive,” Todorovic said. “Mom is still confused sometimes, but I know it’s a job and she’s my favorite.”

Having built up a small following online, Todorovic started talking about appearing as a non-binary on Instagram and quickly realized they were hitting a mark.

“Within the first three months of closure, my audience tripled,” they say.

It didn’t take long for book publishers to notice and approach with an offer: would Todorovic be willing to write a biography? “It’s very flattering, but I’m too young to write a biography,” laughs Todorovic, putting the saganaki on my plate.

“But I started getting a lot of messages from people who follow me saying, ‘I don’t love myself’, ‘I don’t know who I am’, and I know that it can I will help.”

The result You’ll love this: How to rewrite the rules and stay truea self-help book, apparently, not a self-help book.

“I find self-help books very clinical; without love, warmth and understanding that self-improvement is hard, but also fun.”

No one can doubt it This is love for you of lack of fun. Each chapter ends with a dance routine, prompting the reader to play a tape from a playlist prepared by Todorovic.

Although the music selection is a bit odd (one feels better after listening to Coldplay’s Fix Yourself?), as a tool that speaks to Todorovic’s unconventional approach.

The book is filled with very clever compliments – Hello, friends! – and endless invitations to “have a cup of tea before we start”. It reads less like a self-help book and more like a letter from your older cousin, the person who used to make you drink wine when you were a kid.

And according to Todorovic, this is exactly what is needed.

“I wanted my writing to be like someone you know, someone you can turn to when you need it, rather than a stranger giving you advice.”

That said, it contains a lot of traditional advice This is love for you, until this great treasure on page 137: “All thoughts are fleeting, even heartache.”

“I’m still in a state of isolation,” they confess when the lamb arrives at the table. There may be no cure for a broken heart, but roast lamb is a treat.

“It’s interesting because my Instagram is focused on authenticity, so no matter what’s going on in my life, I have to be authentic with my audience,” explains Todorovic.

To be successful, especially as someone who is marketing a brand with integrity, sharing your warts-and-all experiences is part of the process. But having created a space where students feel like friends, is Todorovic worried about setting boundaries on social media?

“It’s a balancing act. I get over 300 direct messages [on Instagram] a day, many stressful experiences are shared,” they say.

“I’m getting better at recognizing my own time and saying, ‘Well, it’s nine o’clock at night; I don’t need to respond to every message I get’.”

I also have to celebrate the Todorovic season; They have a flight to catch, a whirlwind of book promotions waiting.

“It’s like one thing after another at the moment,” said Todorovic, before starting a laundry list of future plans. Can be back in Sydney, talking about TV projects and expanding the @stylebydeni brand.

It seems that the next period of Todorovic’s life will be full of turmoil and change. For others it is confusing, but after a long search, Todorovic does not lose himself on the way.

“Sitting before you today, I know who I am; I haven’t really been true to my identity yet,” they said, taking one last look my way. “Of course, love the dress, yes the double denim.”

Improve your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with us Read Live Life. Get it in your inbox every Monday.